Reply to "Reconciling" with a problematic parent

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[quote=Anonymous]I feel for you, OP, and can empathize.  I come from a fucked up family as well and have worked really hard to get to a happy place (or at least one that's not unhappy).  If you haven't already, you should find a good counselor - especially if you and your partner intend to have kids because many of us find that when our kids hit a certain age, like toddler age, memories of the abuse resurface and we're re-traumatized.  I can tell you, it fucked with me in a major way and I thought i'd put it well behind me.  A good counselor can also help you work through these emotions and help you determine what you really want.  There will always be someone on this board that says they were glad to have reconciled with a parent.  I can tell you that it's been 30 years since my father died and all I feel is happiness the MF is gone and I don't have to deal with the shit you're going through!  Of course, I still have my mother to deal with but that's another story!

I guess, to get to your question, if it were me, I wouldn't invite her back into my life. I'd have a heart to hear with my brothers, acknowledging their relationship with her, but asking them to respect my privacy and my decision not to have a relationship with her.  Hugs.[/quote]

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