Reply to "Reconciling" with a problematic parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
You only have one life to live. How do you envision it? What can you cope with? What will make YOU happy?

And, from what your brothers tell you, do you think she is now doing better?

[/quote]

Thanks for the PP. I've been trying to move forward with a "my life" attitude, but it's hard when your whole childhood was centred pleasing others.

And to clarify, my brothers are half brothers, but kind of the only family I have, so I've kind of clung to that. Their own idea of "better" is, like mine, probably relative to what we've known in the past. That's what makes me leery. They're great young men, who have done awesomely for themselves, but there's still the catch: they are a product of long term dysfunction. I know they compare them to their dad (one of my former stepfathers), and she doesn't look all that crazy, but she is. They were mostly raised by THEIR stepfather (who I never lived with) and his family, and by most accounts, they made things as loving as stable as possible when two kids have a terrible start and alcoholic mother).

I guess there's my answer. I can forgive her without needing her in my life. I think it opens up too much hurt. Thank you for your post.

[/quote]

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