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[quote=Anonymous]My DH isn't as bad as what's being posted here. He frustrates me, to be sure. But he's not that bad. The thing that bothers me most is that he's become more rigid over time rather than becoming more mellow. He has a great sense of humor, he's a genius who can chat about practically any topic, and he's hands on with the kids.

That said, he lacks empathy. Big time. Aside from being smart, he knows he's smart, therefore he's rarely wrong. He can admit it when he's wrong, but you have to prove it, and even then he may be critical of the source, or suddenly the point is not nearly as important as it was when he was correct.  He's only apologized a handful of times since I've known him (lack of empathy and rarely wrong, so why would he need to apologize?). He can chat with people, but he usually doesn't want to, so he usually doesn't. He's a homebody, very introverted, and perfectly happy to stay home and watch Nova or Ken Burns documentaries or random fact based tv shows. He likes things to be a certain way, and doesn't deal well with change. He doesn't handle teen drama from the kids well at all. He's a picky eater.

What works best for me is to come at him with logic. I find something fact based to prove why he needs to do whatever I'm asking him to do or support (if I want to do it without him). Also I prep him if I'm able before we broach sensitive topics with teen and tween DDs. (As in, don't try to fix their problem the way a 40yo man would, because DDs and their friends aren't 40yo men.) I'm very straightforward about expectations and emotional needs. He's never going to pick up on clues. It sucks to have to say exactly what I need from him, that he's never going to intuitively pick up on it and meet my needs, but when he knows what I need he tries hard to see that I don't go without. He knows he doesn't view the world the same way as i do (although he would say it's too bad we can't all be like him). [/quote]

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