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[quote=Anonymous]I'm the same age as you, OP.

Our lives growing up were governed by a bipolar father with a major anger problem. There were almost daily blow ups, complete with name calling and being followed around to be yelled at more. Some property destruction, though only once or twice did he get physical. My mother spent all of her time trying to anticipate what would set my father off and avoid it, which included sniping at my brother and me to be perfectly behaved, loving, etc..

She was also depressed, and didn't much like interacting with us as tweens and teens. Nothing about that household felt "loving." I didn't even know what that meant until I saw other families interacting in my 20s.

But, from her perspective, she sacrificed everything she had to us, and we are just ungrateful. I do believe they both did their best, but their best was entirely destructive of a close relationship, which needed to be built when my brother and I were children.

As an adult, I feel sorry for her, but as her daughter, I just don't have those feelings of closeness, and we can't go back 4 decades and try again.[/quote]

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