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[quote=Anonymous]10:10 again, sorry, last thoughts.

I did counseling weekly for about 3 months, then tapered down to every other week, and now am on an as-needed basis and have found myself going about once a month to work through things before they become problems that make me want to binge. My doctor gave me the research from some portal he has on BED when he prescribed the Vyvanse, and the CBT was highly effective. I was just planning on doing the meds and will always be grateful to my doc for giving me that info so I could hit the problem with all barrels.

It was INCREDIBLY hard for me to say the words "binge eating" to my doctor. I've known I've had this problem since I was a teenager, I've probably googled it 5,000 times, and I felt like such a failure that I couldn't "discipline" myself out of it. I know my posts sound like I'm evangelical, think everyone should be treated for BED, etc - but the reality is anything but. I resisted putting that label on myself for well over a decade. I resisted help. I thought I should just be able to do it myself, because overeating is just laziness and sloth, right? I thought if I read everything on the topic about how to change your habits, surely I could.

For me, we discovered a few things:

- There probably is a genetic/imbalance component to it for me based on family history (and not just stuff I saw modeled, I didn't live with the parent who has the issue after the age of 12).

- I do struggle with anxiety/stress, and I had NO IDEA. You'd never know it if you knew me IRL. I'm an in charge person and I get shit done. Stuff comes easily to me. I was a top student and have an excellent career that isn't usually terribly stressful. I'm successful in every other area of my life except managing my weight (which as someone else said - symptom, not the problem). I really resisted thinking of myself as having anxiety because I thought it mean I'm an "anxious" person. Once the therapist helped me see that I can be a strong person and still have anxiety, I was able to accept it and recognize it before it becomes a problem. We think I binge to "numb out" the anxiety.

- I'm not OCD, but I would say (and therapist would say) I have OCD tendencies. My house is pristine (although I was a huge slob as a kid) and I have a hard time relaxing if everything isn't in place. I don't think I 'deserve" to relax unless I've done everything else that needs to be done. I'm VERY hard on myself (this is one of my biggest learnings).

In case any of that rings bells for you and your daughter. I wouldn't say I showed signs of the obsessive tendencies as a teenager, but as I got older, had my own house, wanted to be "perfect" in every other way (especially because when you're fat, you feel like you can't afford to not be perfect in every other way) -- the controlling aspects of wanting to control my environment, other people, etc came out. Again, trying to sooth anxiety I think. I still keep my house pristine and like stuff done "right," but I'm also able to recognize when I'm doing it. I'm able to hear my self-talk that is beating me up. Therapy was instrumental in that. [/quote]

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