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[quote=Anonymous]Please don't blast my husband--he's an incredible man in so many ways and he's a terrific father to his DD (my dear step-daughter), so I don't have any concerns about what kind of partner he's going to make once the baby is here.  But I see the writing on the wall with his involvement up until we have a baby and it's not exactly what I would wish for.

After 2 years of difficulty conceiving, we are heading to IVF and I'm... well... already overwhelmed and slightly terrified. And I know I will be doing this mostly alone. By that, I mean, he's not going to be going to appointments with me (except for the retrieval, where he needs to be providing something of his own) and possibly the transfer, if I make a big enough deal about it. He will absolutely not be giving me any shots. (He missed the class you're supposed to take and he's too squeamish to help.) He doesn't seem to have any understanding of what I'm about to put myself through and therefore no empathy/sympathy. Attempts to educate him on any of it seem fairly useless.  He hears the information but it just doesn't stick or he doesn't care or who knows what. He's just been... really uninvolved so far. And as I get closer and closer to the "hard" part, it's getting worse. Some of it is his job--he works very long hard hours and I'm lucky enough to have more of a 9-5 kind of job now so I get him not being able to make every appointment. And I'm guessing that after our multiple miscarriages that part of his lack of involvement is the way he protects himself from disappointment/hurt/failure. But still...

I guess I'm just thinking of all the pain and inconvenience ahead of me and a little resentful that it seems like it's mostly all on me. I'm sure this is a fairly common gripe, so forgive me for taking up your time with it. I just wish the process ahead wasn't so intimidating to me and/or that I had a partner who could be giving me some emotional support. I've tried talking to him about my feelings and it just led to a big fight where he felt accused of not loving me or not wanting a baby, so I'm inclined to just put my head down and try to motor through without whatever it is that I wish I had. I just wish it was different.[/quote]

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