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[quote=Anonymous]My mom who has a long history of verbal and emotional abuse wanted to visit us when DC #3 was born.  I got some good advice about setting boundaries so I asked her to wait a month before coming so we would have time to settle in a bit.  The past two times she's visited she's been really angry and ended the visit with a long verbal tirade about what a terrible person, mother, etc. I am.  Needless to say she was angry that I asked her to wait so she sent a nasty note repeating her usual wishes for bad things to happen to us.  I acknowledged she was upset and said that wasn't my intent and reiterated the invitation for her to come after we had had some time to adjust to the baby being home.  It's been a month now and we haven't heard from them at all.  She sent a one word "congratulations" email in response to DH letting her know the baby was here.  I guess she's so angry and feels so "wronged" that she doesn't care to know how I'm doing after the birth or how the baby is.  Tomorrow is one of our other DC's birthdays and I'm guessing we won't hear from her for that either.  Is this the nail in the coffin for our relationship?  I know she blames me for everything - that's her MO for every relationship that's gone south and there are many.  I'm struggling with not having contact but I'm also really angry and hurt that she wouldn't check in on us or seem to care about a new grand baby just because she didn't get her way.  Do I try to get over it and initiate some contact or just let things be?  This feels like an excessive "punishment" relative to the circumstances.[/quote]

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