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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH here -

I haven't enjoyed kissing DW for a very, very long time. Not a hygiene issue, just simply not feeling it - [i]ever[/i]. For me, kissing can be incredibly intimate and emotional, and I just don't feel that way about DW anymore.  We kiss, but it's not for very long, and there's absolutely no fire whatsoever.  As a prelude to sex, it's almost a mood killer, so I kind of just do the best I can and get to the main event (which is also largely obligatory).  It really sucks to be faking it all the time.  God, I miss deep, passionate kissing, SO much.[/quote]

Well, why don't you think about it, and figure out what's missing? Or are you going to limp along, focusing on how you miss it, but never talk to your wife or do anything to make things better between you? You keep going down this path, and you'll be cheating before you know it.[/quote]

Never talk to my wife?  Hey, we talk all the time.  Or rather, she talks and I listen.  And then I'm supposed to "ask" for emotional intimacy, right?  Oh, please listen without criticizing.  Please don't tear down my dreams.  Please believe in me.  Blah blah.  How contrived.  How pathetic to have to beg for something that should be [i]pretty fucking fundamental[/i] in a marriage.  Wait, but maybe it's me.  Maybe I'm the one with the intimacy issues, the one who's manifesting behaviors learned in childhood.  Maybe I'm isolating myself emotionally and this would be the case with anyone, right?  Except every time I open up I'm met with the same nothingness, so eventually you just close the door.  And bolt it shut.

Look, I [i]know[/i] what's missing, but the reality is, she is who she is, and I am who I am, and over time we've grown apart.  I'm not sure anything can honestly be done about it at this point.  Regardless of all the calls on these boards for counseling and communication, there comes a point when you just have to make the call - you're either staying or leaving, and I'm not leaving because I would lose my kids.  So I swallow the shit and put on a happy face and, yes, "limp along" in agony knowing I'll never have a meaningful connection with anyone and try to feel okay about it.  I don't see how you can suddenly fall back in love with someone when you've spent years falling out, and at the end of the day, we made a vow to stay married no matter what, so no one's going [i]anywhere[/i].[/quote]

I'm a dw and feel the same way.   [/quote]

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