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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Why did you refuse marriage counseling?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Because therapy is hard work, and you have to look at your own behaviors and actions and own them. If you are emotionally able to work on yourself, as well as your marriage, then therapy can be a life changer. But if one partner puts up walls or is otherwise unwilling to take and give feedback, it won't work. My ex was very adept at ingratiating himself with therapist which didn't help anyone. He was more concerned about the impression he was leaving rather than improving our life together. You can't do the emotional work for two people. So either your partner is too scared, too checked out, doesn't care, whatever. The bottom line is you can't make someone else do something, or try to change to improve your relationship. But hopefully you will continue with counseling and work on yourself. And decide whether you want to be in a committed relationship with someone who isn't isn't committed to you. BTDT - now divorced. [/quote]
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