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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This past weekend, my friend found out that her boyfriend of 2 years was cheating on her with not 1 but 6+ girls. They are in their mid twenties. She is so devastated she can't get out of bed. Apparently he was a habitual cheater and has slept with, told "I love you" to, and been in simultaneous relationships with many girls during their entire relationship.
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BTDT.  Could be sociopath, could be narcissist, could be bipolar mania.  But, does it really matter?  There's a drive to make sense of this kind of thing when it happens, and that's understandable, but in some ways it's a waste of energy.  Who cares what made the cheater do it?  Don't waste time trying to understand him, just get away from him.  Get your friend out of bed.  Keep telling her the person she fell in love with was a fake construct of her boyfriend and probably there was no way to know that.  Encourage her to view the glass half full -- she dodged a bullet, and is now free to break things off without any further contact or any guilt or remorse.  It has nothing to do with her desirability or whether or not he loved her or the strength in their relationship or relationship problems.  Cheating is solely a flaw within the cheater.

Keep repeating these answers to your friend.  Let her talk about it with you.  But, also try not to let her wallow and re-direct her to other activities -- new sport, more time on a special interest, goals she can accomplish (travel, career, etc.)  Maybe encourage a dating moratorium and a focus on self for 6 months or so, so that the next round of dating and relationships isn't influenced by this fiasco.

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