Reply to Feel Betrayed by Sister

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Feel Betrayed by Sister"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Your father wanted her to study finance.

She's not interested in finance. She's interested in animals and kids.

Your parents raised her, and you, to set up a life for them and other relatives -- not to live lives based on your own interests.

Your parents, and you, are offended that she does not have the goals you expect her to have. But those are goals your parents imposed on her, not goals she created for herself, and she's discovered that.

If you feel she's abandoned the family plan, well, it was bound to happen because she was never really part of it, no matter how much she said, "Yes, I'll go to America and study finance and create a life for all of [i]you[/i] to come enjoy there." You feel she has "changed so much" but can you accept that maybe [i]she[/i] has[i] not [/i]changed -- she is only showing who she really is, and who she really was all along? You thought you knew who she was and you really didn't--and maybe neither did she until she got here. And you're judging the choices she's making because they don't fit the family plan -- and you, yourself, are still following the plan that dad and mom set for you.

Any chance that you're not just jealous of the lifestyle her BF offers, but of the fact that she's getting out from under having to provide a whole life and "base" for other family members, while you are still expected to do just that?

She's living for herself and her husband-to-be, rather than for her parents and other relatives back home. That sounds pretty normal but your parents likely will see it as selfish, say she's failed them, etc. But many Americans would see it as a natural and desirable progression of growing up and going out on one's own.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics