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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^ yes. H feels that parent has a real mental illness (some personality disorder) and because of that the behavior should be overlooked. I would be ok with that if the parent agreed to at least try getting treatment. Or, if spouse spoke with a therapist about how to handle it.

Parent will send is really nasty emails/leave nasty voicemails. I have let a few people close to me read/listen to them just to make sure I wasn't overreacting because of my dislike of parent. Every person has been appalled. [/quote]

I'm 20:40. Your husband is wrong about overlooking mental illness. Relatives of mentally ill people *have* to limit contact for their own good, when it becomes too great a psychological trauma. It's self-preservation, and everybody is entitled to their own threshold for that. This is why parents of some mentally ill children have it so bad, since they can't very well abandon their kids. 
But that's neither here nor there if the parent in question has not been aggressive face to face, since you are discussing a physical visit. A crazy co-worker of mine would send me the most harassing all-caps emails, threatening to call our boss over nothing (wish she had!), but every time I spoke to her in person she was delightful. Very creepy, and eventually I did request that she be re-assigned.

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