Reply to If you met me ... (Be a real friend)

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[quote=Anonymous]
God bless you, OP. I give you all the Internet hugs today. Do what's best for you. You are setting a beautiful example for your children. Grace under fire isn't always perfect, but it's always to be admired. They aren't your friends if they demand a facade in light of the very real issues you're coping with these days. Let go of what fails to directly serve your interests, and target healing. Give yourself the time and space you need, without apology.

After a loved one's suicide, I would burst into ugly cries and weeping in CVS. I did NOT care who saw. The pain spilled out everywhere. I nearly choked on it. Toxic. Toxic! No apologies.

I will say take care of yourself. You may let go of the needle, but try not to gain weight like I did. White bread and ice cream became my crutch. It didn't serve me well in the end. So, try to find healthy outlets. Sure, not every outfit will be dry cleaned after one wear, but make damn sure you get enough sleep and try try try to bathe regularly. It's not about what others see. That, I couldn't care less about. It's about the way it will harm you. Nourish yourself with good things.

Find someone to talk to about this. I would really suggest a grief and loss counselor. You may be guided toward someone specializing in DV since that is your experience. But, so much of what you say seems consistent with grief, I'd ask you to consider this as an option that's more likely to address the heart of things.

Again, more and more love to you today. Cherish yourself and your journey. Wishing you every bit of peace you can find for yourself, OP.

Take care.
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