Reply to If you met me ... (Be a real friend)

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[quote=Anonymous]If you met me a few years ago, you would have noticed the incredible hours I worked, how I could handle complex transactions with ease, how my children and pets were happy, how well I treated my nanny, how generous of spirit I was (philanthropy, personal sacrifice and service, volunteering), how put together I looked. I leaned in before it was a thing.

Then, I could no longer keep together the facade of my two-decade abusive marriage. I became suicidal. One of my children began to have problems in and out of school. Our family was torn apart.

Now, I am trying to put myself back together. Some friends really get it and have stuck with me the whole ride. Others listen patiently to my explanations of how abusive relationships work but then say every time - "Are all divorces this unpleasant?" I can't be perfect anymore. The kids - thank G-d - are better. That part, which was most important, is done. Now I am working on me. I don't always have the energy to do everything I should. I don't always wear the right thing. I haven't made sure I look my very best with the dermatologist's needle in a long time,and I am not sure I can afford it. Everywhere I go, people see the slippage. How I was two days late on that thing at work. How my suit is a little frayed. How I am a little more wrinkled. Yes, there I was at the hospital so very alone, talking the nurse's ear off, as I thanked her for my care, about my ex-husband and the last boyfriend I had, and not sounding at all like the put together person who maintained that facade.

Be patient with me. I'm on a journey. I never was perfect before. Just human. Only you can see it more now. I really do my best. I know it is not as good as before. Yet I know I can be that lean in girl who can do all the crazy hard stuff again. Just give me a little time for my girls and me. I know you think I've had enough time already, but I haven't. I've seen some of you give up because it is taking so long, or because you didn't know it would be so hard and crazy, or because you didn't have the energy. So try being my friend. I'll be yours back. And if you ever find yourself in these shoes, you will know I have been there and get it. Those are my best girlfriends now - the ones who also carry big scars from what life has dealt them in whatever form.

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