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[quote=Anonymous]So, not sure how the DCUM-verse is going to react to this, but I'm going to put out my situation in the hopes of getting some alternative perspectives.

DW here.  I'm feeling a little blah, taken-for-granted by DH lately.  I suspect DH could argue the same, but I'm really struggling with how to fix the situation and feeling like he just doesn't want to do so.  For context, we have a 2y.o., and we're expecting #2 in the summer.  We've been married 6.5 years, and sadly almost half of that time involved a lot of frustrating and heartbreaking infertility treatments and losses.  We both work FT (I started up again recently after a layoff and then temporarily launching a small business last year).  I probably contribute about 40% of the HHI, currently...and we are very comfortable financially.

But things are just kind of blah between us, I don't feel connected to him at all...and we haven't had sex since probably a month or two into my pregnancy.  I was on cervical rest for my first trimester, but I've let him know that the "ban" has been lifted by my OB (after he asked)...and he just hasn't seemed interested.  I would initiate, but, honestly, he falls asleep so early on weekdays out of exhaustion there really isn't much opportunity after DD goes to bed.  My mom is visiting right now, and part of the point of the visit is that she offered to watch DD over the weekend so we could get away for the weekend.  But when I mentioned it to DH, he said he's completely uninterested in anything but going out to dinner and then coming home to sleep in our own bed and waking up when DD does (read "early").  Of course, that won't really happen either.  Most likely I'll wake up and he'll ask to sleep in, or wake up but not really be involved in doing anything other than drinking coffee and reading the news.  My mom has also offered to come back in a month or two so we can take a longer vacation, since it'll probably be a while before we can again, and he's also said he's not really in any vacation that doesn't involve DD.

He's a great father and good friend to me, but I just don't feel like we're much more than compatible and friendly roommates a lot of the time.  I admit that I'm not as proactive as I used to be with trying to make magic happen between us, but from my perspective at least part of it is that it was never reciprocated and often unappreciated.  For example, we did got away late last summer for a weekend when my parents came to visit, and I thought it was a really fun outing  for us (basically the first night we've spent away from DD).  We went to the same place where we went on our first trip together, and it was just fun in the way dating was fun before life, jobs, infertility, and kids took over.  Well, today he informed me that he thought the whole thing was kind of silly and pointless...which leaves me feeling like he just doesn't want to spend any time with me alone anymore ever.  Basically every date we've been on since DD was born has been due to my arranging childcare (now our nanny stays late every other Friday to allow us to go out).  I'm really at a loss...I know that when asked he'd say he's really happy and loves me and our family, but I just barely feel like a romantic partner anymore.

And before anyone asks, I'd stake just about everything on the position that he's not having an affair (I'm not sure when he could given the times he leaves and comes home from work).  Anyway, just wondering what I'm doing wrong here.[/quote]

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