Reply to Old boyfriend back in contact with me

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Old boyfriend back in contact with me"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]An ex-boyfriend recently got back in contact with me via Facebook and we've exchanged a couple of e-mails. Very innocent-nothing at all flirtatious although he brought up a vacation we took together and how much fun it was.  I haven't seen him in 20 years and we're both married. He indicated that he was on his second marriage but has said very little about his current wife and nothing about why his first marriage ended except to say that it didn't work out. He included his phone number in the most recent e-mail-I don't plan on calling him although there's a part of me that wonders why after all of these years he decided to get back in touch with me now. Is it just about being friendly or is there more to this? I'm happily married and have been honest with my husband about the e-mails because I don't have anything to hide and don't feel like I've done anything wrong. He (the ex-boyfriend) has a couple of young kids and appears to be very successful professionally (he's a surgeon). I feel like I'm thinking about this more than I'd like. Neither I nor my husband makes anywhere as much money as I'm sure my ex BF does and I feel very guilty for admitting this but I think about how my life would be if I'd have ended up with him. Although I've always been more attracted physically to my husband than I was to the ex BF, the ex BF was my "first love" and it was a very intense sort of relationship. I think if the ex BF and I had met when we were older we'd have ended up together but we were too young and needed to explore other relationships. Anyway, just needed to vent. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Neither the ex BF or I has talked about getting together in person and I don't plan on doing so. I almost wish that he wouldn't have contacted me because I don't like the fact that I'm thinking about him now. [/quote]

Tell your DH about the email with the phone number. It sounds as if you have not told him about this invite to up the level of contact. If you have not told him then you've done something hurtful and wrong even if you don't think so. Consider his feelings.

Just be completely honest with your DH about the contact. He might surprise you with his understanding. It is usually he cover up or lack of candor that is most hurtful. Also telling him will prevent this from blowing up into a life and family altering issue. It is ok to be nostalgic and DH probably would understand. Your DH just deserves the respect of being informed.

[b]Finally, does the surgeon's wife know he sent his phone number?  Would you want your DH to be doing that?  Think how you'd feel. You really should shut this down and cease all contact permanently. This is playing with fire. [/quote][/b]

This.  If he had no ulterior motive he would be totally above board and invite you and your DH to dinner with him AND his wife.  You really don't want to go down this road.  Playing with fire is right.  And, just spinning this out,  say you have a mad passionate affair, both leave your spouses and wind up together.  You are now with a man who has no problem reaching out to other women on the sly.  You'd give up your current life for that? [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics