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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have 6 yo twins and they both exhibit similar behaviors at times.  I just chalk it up to them being six.  Some of the things you mentioned, j wouldn't worry about or engage in like receiving kisses and that he just likes to hang with one or two friends.

That said, I do a few things to combat some issues above.

Greeting people: whenever I am aware that they will be meeting new people or are going into an unusual social situation, we practice what to do and say.

Arguing: my one twin loves to argue and will say the same GD thing over and over again.  We have a rule that she can argue once, I will consider it, and then whatever I say after that is final.  That works about 25% of the time.  The other 75%, I stop engaging with her.

Rudeness and hitting result in a significant consequence.

I will help them with those routine things on occasion to demonstrate kindness and when I am in a hurry.  The other times, I just say, "nope, you can handle it!" Then, if I get push back, I tell them if the can't handle that, then they can't handle [insert favorite activity]because only kids who can do x can do y.

Getting frustrated when things get difficult: I will sit with them and help them as appropriate.  I find that if you commiserate with them and are sitting with them, it helps them power through it.  So there's a lot of, "yeah, this homework is tough!  Let's sit down and do it together.  What should we do first?"  They still do the work but just need a little hand holding.

I control screen time but your issue there is your husband, not the kid.  If you want to get him out of the house, take him to the park or for a walk.

And keep telling yourself that this too shall pass.

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Love these suggestions.  Mine is 10yo, and is starting to emerge from being in similar position as OP's child, but it is slow going.  I'll add a few suggestions to this list:

Greetings: we now live in a place where people commonly kiss on both cheeks.  DS is still reluctant to put out a hand, never mind kiss.  So, we offer him a third option of a fist bump.  It's a little weird here, but at least he acknowledges the new person & it's on his own terms.

Arguing: we talk about this when it isn't the heat of the moment.  On the one hand, I don't want to discourage DS from speaking up for himself.  But he lacks finesse and doesn't articulate his needs well, so we sometimes review scenarios to figure out how he can explain his needs better.  On the other hand, it is sometimes just whining, and we let him know that his chances of succes drop exponentially the more he whines.

Giving up: again, we bring this up when it isn't the heat of the moment.  Sometimes, complementing him when he does take the extra steps.. Glad to hear your oral presentation went well. Could you tell who had prepared and who hadn't?  Aren't you glad you did? - that probably gives you an 'A' in that class this semester..

Homework: DS has ADHD, so we check up on his assignment book frequently.  But we make him articulate how long he estimates the assignment to take, what materials he will need, and offer to answer any questions at the start.  After that, it's on him to finish it.  If he didn't estimate well, then his next activity gets bumped.

Food: DS was the pickiest eater on the planet as a toddler, so we still offer new foods over and over, and he's gradually starting to try them again.  We frequently remind him of when he was little and wouldn't eat pasta/pizza/rice/etc and how much more adventurous he's become.  If he grumbles, spits something out, makes faces or says the equivalent of "yuck!", he skips dinner.  The worst he is allowed to say is, "I don't think I'm quite ready for that."  Now that he is trained, it has spared us all a lot of embarrassment when dining at other peoples houses.  Dinner is often served buffet style, so he can take as much/little as he wants of an assortment of healthy options.  We are short on time in the mornings, so I still pack lunches.  After one month of nothing but PBJ sandwiches, I've started to offer dinner leftovers as alternatives, and he has taken me up on 90% of them.  Boredom did wonders :)

Good luck!

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