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[quote=Anonymous]My husband's niece is graduating from grad school in May in CA. Her mother sent us the dates (in May) a while ago and just now we got an angry email demanding to know why we hadn't yet informed her of our plans. As context, SIL lives in CA and is semi-retired; her DD is their only child and has been out of the house for a few years. By contrast my DH and I both have busy FT jobs and kids in middle and elementary school. My DH tries to visit SIL (and his parents, with whom he has a strained relationship) once a year; SIL has only come to us once in our 15 year marriage. Niece travels a lot but also has never come to visit.

I really really don't want to go on this trip, and DH wants it even less. Our niece is a lovely young woman and we think it's wonderful she has gotten her advanced degree, but to take 2 kids out of school for the better part of the week and miss work for a graduation ceremony across the country just feels like a very expensive chore. I have an MA and PhD and even in my very close family, those ceremonies weren't must-see events.

OTOH we have very little family, and obviously SIL sees this as a command performance, so maybe I'm missing something. WWYD?[/quote]

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