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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
-- Quit her travel sport team
[/quote]

Why did she quit? Did her decision to quit make sense? (E.g taking too much time, generally lost interest in the sport, she was struggling with the expectations.)

[quote=Anonymous]
-- Taken to spending huge amounts of time in her room -- would rather binge-watch Netflix or Minecraft than interact with friends
[/quote]

On some level this is normal. When she's playing minecraft, does she play solo or on a group server? Is she interacting with people-through-technology and just not hanging out in person?

Being freed up from participation in a travel sport means she suddenly has a lot of time for this sort of stuff that she didn't have before. That's ok. It also really is normal for teens to want to spend a lot of time in their rooms. If she's not maintaining any friendships at all, I'd try to figure that out. If her primary friendships were through her sport, she might need help in cultivating new friendships. Supporting study groups from school, going to see a movie with a friend, maybe encourage her to join a club or other extra curricular.

[quote=Anonymous]
-- Seems to have developed severe anxiety
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This I would worry about. Does your wife also see the anxiety? I'd want to get her evaluated. Even maybe just offer your daughter the opportunity to talk to someone else. Untreated anxiety seriously interferes with life in all sorts of ways. This is a red flag.

[quote=Anonymous]
-- Complains more of illness and missed a lot of school. One day she just flat-out refused to go to school. I definitely have the sense that she now believes that getting her period means at least one day out for cramps, etc. As a Dad, it's kind of hard for me to argue with this, even though I know rationally that's not something that should become a habitual expectation.
[/quote]

Her period could be causing her serious discomfort (physical, emotional, social). Make sure she knows there are things she can do to help herself. Medication is useful. During her period is also when I let my teenager drink fancy coffees or caffeinated sodas because the sugar and caffeine help boost pain relief. And, let's face it, your period sucks so you might as well have something special to help you through the day. Exercise is helpful. If she's in serious amounts of pain and really feels like she can't function, see a doctor. I had friends who went on birth control "young" because their periods were physically awful for them, and it helped. There are options.

[quote=Anonymous]
-- Begs to be home-schooled. 
[/quote]

Does she say why? Or is this one of the things you think is a symptom of the anxiety?

[quote=Anonymous]
-- Needs better coaxing to complete things. It's like she gives up when anything starts to get hard.
[/quote]

This is both normal, and can also be a sign of anxiety. Is there anything that she'll push herself in?

[quote=Anonymous]
But, we're also getting e-mails from teachers who observe that her once bubbly self has turned more subdued. They are also concerned.
[/quote]

This doesn't worry your wife? I can understand being a bit "she's a teenager, she's going through a lot of changes" but when her teachers who see classrooms of teenagers daily are saying that your particular child seems to be going through something more, something noticeable beyond regular-teenishness, I think that would be a red flag.

[quote=Anonymous]
I've told my DW I want to screen her for depression but DW is adamantly opposed. She swears it's just hormonal and normal. It very well be, but I don't see the harm in an evaluation.
[/quote]

I'd want her screened for anxiety and depression. Your wife is opposed, why? If it's hormonal and normal, you've lost what, exactly? And this could be on the far edge of normal, or it could be a sign that your child's struggling right now and could use some extra supports. She might just need someone to talk to, someone to help give her some ways to calm herself down or quiet a racing mind. Or she might need some medication to help her through a particularly rough patch.

If she had hurt herself playing her sport, you might have taken a day or even a couple to see if she could walk it off. But when she's still nursing an ankle 4 weeks later, you'd probably take her to see someone even just to make sure nothing serious was going on. This is no different.[/quote]

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