Reply to Do people in your life know you are going through infertility treatments?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've found that it's emotionally more difficult to manage other people's expectations - they're all hoping for me, and it's hard to talk with people after a treatment has failed.  It's hard enough on my own (and I'm good about being pessimistic and  somewhat managing my own expectations), but it's dreadful talking with other people who are really bummed on my behalf.  I cry enough on my own  time - I don't need/want to sob every single time I talk with one of my friends.[/quote]

This is what I've found too. I kept it pretty quiet when we started except for close family, but then when I had a late-term miscarriage followed by a seemingly never-ending series of unsuccessful follow-ups I also told some other friends and colleagues that I trust what was going on, because it seems I am constantly having to take time for doctors' visits and as hard as I've tried, a couple of years of this has had some sporadic impacts on my working life (inability to schedule travel, missing meetings at short notice due to egg retrievals, etc.). And every time a cycle fails it feels like I let down not only my husband, but all these other caring people too. Very hard. The worst of all was how upset my MIL was after the miscarriage (this isn't a slam - she was incredibly supportive and actually came and stayed with us and did all our housework for a week while I was in bed with hard-core anemia - but I could feel the waves of grief) but fortunately she lives in another country so we've not shared the more recent month-by-month struggles with her; if we can spare her that, it's best for her and for me.

All that said, I do think it's good in a larger sense to talk about it at least a bit, to bring it out of the shadows, if you will. I think the technology is amazing and that there are probably a lot of people that could benefit from infertility treatments but they may be holding back because no one they know has done it (that they're aware of) and the unknown can be terrifying. I didn't know much about it before I started, and it took us about three years to take the plunge...I would give a lot to have those three years back.[/quote]

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