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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Why do you need to make an official declaration? Why do you need to get your mother involved? You're better off keeping her at a distance and giving generic non-committal responses to her attempts to contact you. Don't engage.[/quote]

I'm not planning to make any sort of grand proclamation.  But it will be an issue at holidays or kids' birthdays.  Mom will ask why sister is not invited to events typically hosted at my house, or will be hurt if I decline to attend events outside my home where I know sister will be.[/quote]

Not wanting to be in the same room as her is a grand proclamation. The more you do things like this, the more you encourage her, she knows she has gotten to you. My suggestion would be for you to distance yourself from her and be civil when you have to be in her company. If you are calm, collected and firm she will get the hint, and if she doesn't your mother and rest of family will. Don't let her cut you off from the rest of your family.

My mother is the same, she has a weakness for one of my siblings, and cannot see clearly. I tell her my side and exactly how I feel and do not engage further. I refuse to feed the drama. Mom is slowly getting it.[/quote]

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