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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will preface this by saying I feel like shit. My brother just had a baby and I am thinking of not sending a congratulatory message.

We got into a conflict the last couple of months. They wanted something from DH and I, which we tried very hard to accommodate, but it became very clear it would be impossible to do. It very quickly went from a want to a demand. Had to set some boundaries because their demand was really inappropriate (had to do with our money). They were offended by the boundaries. I decided to give each of us some space, but certainly said nothing about cutting them of or not speaking to them etc. A couple of weeks later, and days before their baby is to be born, we receive a 3 page letter which was offensive to say the least (list of everything they dislike/ is wrong with me). I am very offended and upset and of course not talking to them after that letter. In fact it's hard for me at the moment to imagine wanting a relationship with my brother after what was said. But his baby is born today (parents called to let me know) and I am really conflicted about reaching out. So angry that they escalated this conflict just days before this event. Am I completely out of line here, am I being really petty?[/quote]

It costs you little to send them a card and small gift.  I am assuming they are asking for money, and he is probably under pressure/stressed out, but would not excuse the behavior.  Sending the card/gift leaves the door open.  Do not feel guilty about the boundaries - I am a firm believer that you cannot let anyone else spend your money.

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