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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Long time private school parent here, with experience at various schools including Big 3 and progressive.  (I have some very different children).  There is a tension at the more rigorous schools between kids who want to learn and kids who are pushed by competitive parents.  I have a kid who loves to learn and was at a Big 3 but found that the atmosphere created by the competitive parenting was really toxic.  Fabulous student, but unhappy.  Transferred to a progressive school and loved it.

My point is that the more rigorous schools are two-edged.  Also you need to make sure you don't become one of those competitive parents -- it can become poison when the kids get older.

If what you want is differentiation you are more likely to get it in public school.  Otherwise I suggest you visit some privates to get a feel.  I wouldn't rely on the opinions you read here because many are just loopy.  You really can get a gut feeling when you visit the schools.[/quote]

This is a really helpful and interesting post. 
With regards the split between academically driven kids and those driven by parents - I'd be very interested to know, would you say its a gender divide? Girls working hard, boys not so much, or was it not dependent on that?[/quote]

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