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[quote=Anonymous]Sorry this will be a bit long. Here's the back story. My mom died suddenly and unexpectedly last year. In her will, she asked that we scatter her ashes in the ocean near a beach area where our family has vacationed for 60 years.

When mom died, my cousin promised to book a house at the beach for the memorial. But she waited way too long. By the time she got to it, all the good properties were gone. What was left would have required serious compromises on our part, which I just didn't want to make. I'm past that age where sleeping on a cot in a dusty basement with five other people is acceptable, especially given the circumstances.

It didn't help that my cousin, who is a teacher and has all summer off, gave us only one week when she would be willing to go. (She's already got the rest of the summer booked with other vacation plans.) I'm a little more than pissed that my cousin can't move any of those other things around to accommodate her aunt's funeral - especially when it was her inaction that got us to this point. The "only if it's convenient for me" attitude is infuriating. The worst part is that my 84yo aunt, my mother's only sibling and my cousin's mother, is dependent on my cousin to get her to the funeral. So, if my cousin won't come, my aunt can't go. I offered to fly to my aunt's house and to pack and travel with her, but she won't do it because she feels guilty about "troubling" me.

So, I've decided to just go to the beach with DH and have the memorial without them. I'm thinking I won't even tell them I've done it. But I keep second-guessing this plan. Is this a completely crap thing to do to my aunt?

FWIW - we are expecting our first child at the end of the summer, after eight years battling infertility and multiple miscarriage. If we wait a year and do this next summer, we'll have a new baby to add to the mix.[/quote]

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