Reply to If you've cut off a parent, what do you say to your kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]As someone struggling with maintaining my relationship with my sister who cut off our father (same idea as OP: divorce, sister took my moms side and can't move on 25 years later), while having a relationship with my father including as a wonderful grandparent to my boys, please consider the mass "spread", if you will, of such a decision on every family event including weddings and funerals on the entire family that will result. 
I'm not saying having a great relationship, I just wish my sister did a once a year school picture send or phone call at Christmas just to keep some relationship so we don't have a 3-4 time annual "who's going" dramatics around every funeral, wedding, baby shower, retirement party, graduation and family reunion. 
My kids have a distant relationship with her in part because her kids and my kids are too young to have a "why is your grandpa not my grandpa -oh wait, he is, my mom told me he was evil" chat. 
There was no abuse, neglect, alcohol, drugs, nothing, no money withheld, no cheating, just a divorce with typical hard feelings. 
So just another point of view from someone witnessing the fallout on people that really don't deserve it. 
Good luck in whatever decision you make![/quote]

You're conflating two issues.  Just because you cut off someone doesn't mean you can't attend the same events.  I cut off my dad because of abuse yet we've been to a couple of the same weddings.  If I come into contact with him, I will be civil but I will not engage with him.[/quote]

I'm glad that you are able to do this. That would be wonderful. My sister will not and in the past when she has, it has made such a scene since not everyone knew and tried to sit them at the same table, the young grandkids were confused to find out they had the same grandfather (my sisters son heard them call my father Grandpa, someone else told him "that's your Grandpa too) and asked a ton of questions that were awkward to discuss in the middle of a wedding and not appropriate, and one of my aunts was so upset by the whole situation that she tried to talk to my sister about it and got an earful about how poisonous my father is, and began to cry.

Just my experience in this nightmare! Glad to know it is not like that for everyone.[/quote]

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