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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is why we all need an End of Life Directive.[/quote]

I agree but I think we need more than that, we need a culture shift from 'life at all costs' to more acceptance of pallitive care.  My FIL had a massive stroke that left his left side completely paralyzed and with increasing dementia.  He had an end of life directive as well as a non-resuscitation directive but they never came into play because immediately after the stroke, it was unclear how permanently he was affected.  We were told that with a stroke, you couldn't really predict outcome so soon after it happened.  In his case, he didn't get much better and in hindsight DH should not have allowed the G-tube to be inserted.  But we didn't know at that and we (understandably) got very little direction from the specialists.

FIL lived 3 years after the stroke and it was hell for everyone.  His quality of life was poor but his health was stable because of the medications he took.  DH couldn't bring himself to stop the medications because he was a afraid it would be 'killing' his dad. DH is Catholic and that played a role in his decisions as well. The stress on our marriage and DH's health was incredible.  We nearly divorced because DH spiraled into a depression and was so focused on his father that I was basically a single mother for 3 years.

My side of the family are different.  We'd been through this with my grandmother, father and a brother.  We all understand the conditions in which we do and do not want to live.  I've also spoken extensively to my kids about it because I do not want them to feel as my DH did with his father.  Life is good but death is a part of that.  I've already had a very good life and while I'm in no hurry to leave it, I need to have a certain level of quality.[/quote]

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