Reply to Elite privates and social dynamics for a fat mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So one of my kids started at a new school this year.  We've had kids at other privates, and the communities have been different but generally friendly.

This school is different in another way.  Moms who are at home with their kids wear high heels, full make-up, and designer clothes to drop off their children.  Not that there's anything wrong with any of these things, but the prevalence of moms like this is new in my experience.

The other thing about this school is that it's been very hard to break the ice and get to know other moms.  Even my DH, who is usually oblivious, commented that people seem rather cliquish.  Our repeated overtures for play dates and get-togethers have been rebuffed.  We are down-to-earth people who generally don't care much about material things.  We're not wealthy, but we're comfortable and paying private school tuition is not a challenge.  We're both outgoing and have lots of friends from other contexts.

This may sound like a dumb question, but it is a genuine one.  I'm wondering if some of the social ostracism has to do with the fact that I'm fat and not very trendy?  While I'm not slovenly, I'm not the kind of do drop-off in heels.  I'm also about 60 lbs overweight.  Could it be real that in this particular elite school, someone's weight and the clothes she wears could be a factor in forming friendships?  I haven't experienced this since high school, and it kind of blows my mind.  What made me begin to wonder about this is that the only mom who has been open and  friendly is also overweight.  I noticed that she is also not "included" by the other moms.

Has anyone else experienced this?

If you were in an environment where people were judged on the size of their bodies, rather than the content of their character, would you stay if your child was happy?  DC has had a great experience inside the classroom, loves the teachers, and is very happy there.

[/quote]

I have obviously never seen you, so let me say this: regardless of your body, the content of your character sounds very entitled, arrogant and a bit bitchy[/quote]

NP here.  PP, could you cite examples?  I'm not seeing this.[/quote]

I kind of agree with PP. OP is very judgmental about the other moms and implies that she's better than them because she doesn't get dressed up for pick up and doesn't care about material things. A very holier than thou attitude that I would find a turn off. She assumes the worst of them when (as a former fat person) I bet a lot of it is in her head.[/quote]

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