Reply to SIL was at the center of a major division in our family

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "SIL was at the center of a major division in our family - keeps speaking poorly of the other side"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]SIL really stepped in it with some of my relatives. In her defense, these were some wackos and we all take their side of the story with a pound of salt. But the reality is that SIL sort of stormed into a situation she didn't know well, like a bull in a china shop, saw that the dynamic was bad, and then made it worse - and before SIL knew it, she had kickstarted WW3 with the craziest branch of the family tree. She did not quietly step out of the situation, which would have been ideal, but instead added her own layer of wackko-ness to the pot. Being new to the family and all, her fanning the flames did not go over well. (My immediate family either avoids or defuses - we don't expect newbies to know how to defuse, but we do hope that they will at the very least not to make things worse).

Well, okay, so what's done is done, now we can never have a joint Christmas celebration again with everyone there. That's a major bummer. My mom has cried many tears. But SIL is family, and while she could have handled this situation in a better way, she's not responsible for the disproportionate reaction my relatives gave in response. We've accepted it and even those of us who've actively tried to not take sides have de facto lost a chunk of our relationship with the other side of the family, simply by accepting SIL. It feels, to me at least, like I'm on SIL's side, even though I don't want a side.

But SIL keeps bringing it up! And telling us how awful our family members are. I'm not sure what the point is - we've known the people she's talking trash about since they were babies or since we were babies. Does SIL think that her two month bad series of interactions is going to rewrite history and make us suddenly hate our family? Does she think she's telling us something we don't know? It seems like she's hoping we'll sympathize more with her side of the story, but the fact is that she already kinda won. Isn't that enough? [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics