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[quote=Anonymous]I've suffered from depression most of my life. I've had some brief breaks, but they are the exception rather than the rule. Since having our 3rd child (who is about as easy and perfect as babies get), I've done therapy, taken meds, and realized that it's pointless. I see the hurt in my older children's faces as they have a mother that is physically present but emotionally absent. I know my leaving them would hurt them too, but I think not as badly as the daily hurt of having a mother who doesn't treat them the way a mother should.

I'm stuck deciding if I just take off for another state and send $$ to my husband until he gets our assets in a divorce or if I take my life.  We have a large amount of life insurance for me, and I've checked and it'd pay out in the case of suicide. I don't want to die, but I feel like it might be fairer to the kids.  My biggest regret in life at this point is not taking my life shortly before I got married so there were not so many people to hurt.

Any advice?  I don't need to hear about therapy or medication - been there, done that, and I don't feel like wasting more resources down that hole. [/quote]

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