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[quote=Anonymous]I really do not understand how I've raised such a b***h Princess 13 y.o. DD.  I have always had boundaries, rules, consequences, etc. etc.  She is so horrible right now, I am not kidding if I could get out of here and leave her with DH I would, but for my younger, sweet DD. This older DD has always, always vied for Alpha status and been self-centered and not the best at empathy, and now that she's a teen, it's risen to a whole other level.

This is the latest.  She got up from dinner to start studying.  I reminded her to bus her plate.  
[i]"No, mom, you do it, I have to study!" [/i]
I said, "look, honey, you still need to bus your plate.[i]  
[i]"MOM, you are WASTING my time, just DO IT for me!"  [/i]
I said, [i]"You need to do it; I am not the maid!"[/i] and she said,

[i]"Well, actually, mom, you ARE.  I could see if you had a job, but you don't.  So you basically ARE our maid."[/i]

I told her,[i] "My job is not to be the maid.  My job is to raise kids who are not PIGS!"[/i]

So, yes, there have been consequences for this behavior and a discussion about this, culminating in me saying, [i]"I would rather you fail out of school than be of poor moral character.  The world doesn't need another smart, straight-A asshole!"[/i]

However; a couple days later, I forgot that DD had two basketball games in the same week, so did not have her uniform washed for the second game.  She was furious and said,[i] "oh great, now I have to wear a dirty uniform because SOMEONE was LOUNGING around instead of washing my clothes!"[/i]

YES, DCUM, she received big consequences for this mouthing off.  Also I had much consternation because this was one of my concerns when becoming a SAHM; that my kids would not respect what I do (and the sacrifice I made with my career to do it--and to get that damn career, I needed a lot of education--it was a career I aspired to and worked for for many years).  Btw we couldn't do it any other way because my career involved travel and was a thing I couldn't do part time, and DH's hours are super-long.  Basically I either became a SAHM or we would have to have a nanny raise them.

You would laugh because the next day, I applied to volunteer at a local museum (I'd been contemplating it anyways) and that night I told her, [i]"I applied for a job.  I don't think it's good for me to be seen as just the maid."[/i]  Anyways as an aside, I'm really looking forward to my "job" and I'm not going to mention that it's "just volunteer"!

My post is not asking how to handle this.  My post is really a lament, and a plea to know if this is some stage, and if anyone has gone through this and came out of it intact.  Basically, it's a pity-party by me, and any words of encouragement would be helpful.[/quote]

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