Reply to How to come to terms with having one child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Depends on what you mean by "come to terms."

In some ways you are grieving for a child (or children) and that probably will always be with you. I have found it helpful to accept this grief is just a part of (my) life. It will occasionally, often unexpectedly, pop up. I let myself feel it rather than try to talk myself out of it or ignore it, but I don't let myself wallow in it. I've learned to tell the difference for myself.

For me it hasn't been a single path with a final destination of "acceptance." Some days I feel great with things as they are, other days are harder. What I can control is how to approach each day, each moment sometimes, and make the choice to be happy. Again, the doesn't mean never feeling sad. It just means not letting the sadness wash everything else out.

You wanted more kids and I don't think it's realistic to think that absence/loss won't always be with you. It deserves space in your life, just don't lose yourself or the positive parts of your life to it. [/quote]

This is wonderful advice for learning to live with any kind of grief.  [/quote]

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