Reply to How to motivate 6th grader who is disinterested in school and careless about his assignments?

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Reply to "How to motivate 6th grader who is disinterested in school and careless about his assignments?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Are you actually seeing a lack of effort or are you seeing a lack of results?
And if you are really seeing a lack of effort, is it a breezy "this doesn't matter" or a defeated "I give up?"

There is a big push for middle schoolers to be responsible for their work and themselves. Some middle schoolers aren't quite ready to be on their own yet, and still need help making sure everything's taken care of. Knowing how your child is struggling can help. I tried a bunch of things for my middle schooler and we ended up with a series of hand-written note cards for various tasks. If she was doing a writing assignment, she'd need to grab the "editing my work" notecard that listed everything she needed to do - including having her name on the assignment, checking for punctuation, considering asking someone to proof read, etc. At the beginning, I had to remind her to use the notecard. She got better at remembering them, especially after she insisted she did not need it and we compared the grades she got when she was using it vs the grades she got for the 2 week period she refused to use it. Middle school is great for this sort of experiment and experience!

My child does have inattentive ADHD, and it did get markedly more obvious in middle school. We opted not to medicate, however, because her self esteem as not been affected and she is not interested in being medicated. Instead, we're careful with her nutrition, make sure she gets loads of exercise, and work with her on personal things she can do to help manage her brain and body. My daughter breaks up homework with physical activity. She keeps a doodle page on her desk when doing school work. She's asked to be moved in classes when she realized that sitting near the windows or near a particular friend was too distracting. She hadn't given up when we started seriously brain storming ways to help her, so it was easier. If your child's self-esteem has been damaged or he's feeling like this is an impossible hill to climb, I'd suggest getting him tested and consider all possible avenues (including medication, you wouldn't hesitate to give insulin to a diabetic who needed it) to get him back on track.

My child did not want to be making these mistakes. Trying to shame her with stories of children being forced to do slave labor would not have helped her at all. Is it helping your son? I know you're frustrated. Take a step back and consider if he's doing this deliberately or if he's overwhelmed. [/quote]

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