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Reply to "Encouraging different behavior in gift giving"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry OP but there really isn't a polite way of rejecting others gifts because you think they are tacky. Try to think of it from your MIL's perspective and think if you were the MIL. How would you feel if you were excited about giving to your grandchild a gift and then it was returned to you with a "no, thanks but this toy doesn't fit our style?" Who knows that very toy you hate may be the one your child loves. [/quote] I'm going to object to the "think of it from your MIL's perspective...." MIL initiated action (giving the gift). OP must react (accepting the gift). Why does OP have to take MIL's perspective into account, but MIL doesn't have to take OP's perspective into account? Why can't MIL think to herself, "hmmm, my DIL sure seems to be into chemical-free items. Even though this lead paint covered tea set looks just like the one that I had as a toddler, and it makes me feel good to reminisce about my youth, and therefore I am feeling this impulse to buy it so that I can spend 25 minutes talking about myself the next time I see DIL and DS, perhaps I should set aside my own gratification and instead focus on what the recipient would find gratifying, the recipient being my sentient DIL and DS and not their newborn who won't remember any of this." OP, you said that you were concerned about the waste. Try to imagine it differently -- the gift giver is not giving you something at all. If she was, she would be consulting with you or asking some questions or trying very hard to get you something that you will appreciate. Instead, something else is motivating this activity, and it's not you. So, don't worry about the waste if you chuck it in the trash or give it away immediately, because the gift giver apparently received something gratifying from this for herself. That is the utility function. Maybe looking at it this way can lower the burden on you to turn a bad gift into something of value to you (or the guilt you feel if you don't). [/quote]
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