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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH wants me to "make nice" with his abhorrently nasty mother.  My MIL has never liked me, and never will (she hates herself, frankly);  I am fine with it.  I never did anything to her.  She has said some really nasty things to me, out of no where (she is not crazy, per se, but she is depressed - I am not qualified to treat her, of course).   I feel I should not be made to be subjected to her venom.

She is the type of woman who is quite primitive, in that if she is in the presence of a kind person - it motivates her, she will see it as an opportunity to attack that person.  I simply grew tired of it, after years and years; and I fully encourage DH to see MIL by himself.  If he feels he has to bring DC to see her, that is fine.  I think they should know their grandmother, and form their own opinion.

Would you "suck it up" and go see her?  I really don't see subjecting myself to her abusive behavior, just because DH does it (she is nasty to him, also.  MIL has put the idea in DH's head that I want to be "catered to".  Which is funny, if you know me at all. I don't want a single thing from her.  It would be nice if she respected herself enough to respect others, but she does not and will not.

[b]Meanwhile, my family is over-the-top welcoming to DH, rightfully so. [/b] I just don't see the point in putting myself in MIL's line of fire?  [/quote]
You were fine up until this point. If he goes to visit your family, you should do the same for him. You may think visiting your family is great, but it most likely is not great for your husband. [/quote]

OP here.  Thank you for taking the time to reply.  I should elaborate, my family is on a different continent - we maybe see them once a year, if we are lucky.  DH's family is local, and makes no effort.  They have grown children and are very self involved.  Not sure this is everything you need to know.  [/quote]

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