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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know if there's an ideal but I have definitely formed a preference.

I have 8th, 6th and 2nd. The spacing works for us although the 8th and 2nd grader are clearly interested in very different things. My middle moves seamlessly between them but that is probably just his personality.

I knew I wanted my kids at least 2 grades apart. My sister and I were just one grade apart and I hated it because there was competition and I always felt inferior. Not as old, not as fast, not as smart, not as coordinated...and then there was the competition for friends (bad in the early years and again in HS).  My mom thought we'd be best friends being close in age. I think it actually backfired.

In our circle, I've seen it work for some and not for others. It's especially rough on those with parents that decide it's a good idea to put their kids into activities/on teams together. We have 3 pairs of siblings on one of my son's teams. Makes it easy for the parents but so hard for the kids. In once case, the younger sib can't keep up and is miserable. In another, the younger sib outplays the older and the older gets upset. I also know two families where the younger child is ahead of the older in school and the older's self-esteem has taken a hit.

Of course, you can avoid the extracurricular competition by steering your kids to different activities and not signing them up together. Not much you can do about the academic piece though. [/quote]

I have two sons who will be three years apart in school even though they are 2 1/2 years apart in age – April and November birthdays.  They are young now but I was a bit bummed at first thinking about how theyd have fewer friends in common, fewer siblings in the same years etc. than if they were two years apart. The sports thing gave me something to think about though. The smaller one is already tracking bigger than the older, so I can see now this could be a good thing. [/quote]

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