Reply to Feel Like DH Abandoned Me

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, may I gently ask why you haven't shared your feelings with him in all these months, especially something that's upsetting you so badly? This makes me wonder if there are communication issues between the two of you. Did he know how important it was to you that he be there, and that you were terrified? Or did you keep silent, thinking it was something he should just know automatically, based upon your own value system and how you would behave if the tables were turned?

I ask you these things even though I totally understand how you feel, and my immediate reaction was disgust at your DH.
And your feelings of disappointment are very valid. But at the same time, it will be important to hear his perspective so that you better understand it, for better or for worse. Did he truly not grasp what you needed from him? Is this how he deals with stress and worry (distancing himself, etc)? Did he not come from a family that would automatically drop everything? Was he feeling overwhelmed?

Whatever he says to explain himself may still be unacceptable to you, and may be a pill you simply cannot swallow, but it may help to just get his feelings out, know that he hears you and even if it's not his natural instinct, he will know to do better in the future because it's important to you. With a new baby, step-kids, etc. it's so important that you are able to communicate with each other.

But I'm so sorry he wasn't there for you, OP. And I understand your deep disappointment.[/quote]

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