Reply to Adoption stories that didn't work out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are many kids adopted internationally who do have living parents or other relatives--they may not be able to legally get their kids back after an adoption, but it certainly affects the ethics of the situation and could impact the way the child attaches to you.  Two bloggers with internationally adopted children who maintain relations with birth parents: http://www.livesayhaiti.com/2015/09/honoring-j-r-i-on-september-seven.html from Haiti and http://scoopingitup.blogspot.com/p/considering-ethiopian-international-or.html from Ethiopia

Similarly, if you adopt from a state like Utah, you're right that the birth mother may not be able to change her mind, but you also run the risk that the birth father was never notified and would have happily raised his child.  You get a kid, sure, but how is that kid going to feel down the road?

I know it's hard to wait.  I am waiting to adopt right now, myself.  But being able to look my future child in the eye when he or she is grown and say I did things as ethically as I knew how, and was not afraid of his or her birth family, is more important to me than getting a kid asap.

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You insider it a GOOD thing that mothers in some western states have no legal recourse if they change their minds about surrendering their infants a day after birth?  You think a mother - potentially a teen mom, potentially traumatized, surely in an emotional and hormonal tsunami to say nothing of pan killers and labor recovery, should have no right to change her mind about a contract signed to forever sever her ties to her child?  Even here in Virginia, we give anyone the legal right to review and terminate any legal contract within 72 hors of signing.  It is disgusting to me that you see it as beneficial that birth women are so preyed upon.[/quote]

pP here...so so sorry, I hit reply to the wrong post!  This was meant to be in reply to the mom by adoption who was touting the benefits of some states like Utah severely restricting the ability for birth parents to change their minds.[/quote]

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