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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I feel for you. The "I'm just being funny" person is for me the hardest type to deal with  -- they can't be persuaded, or shocked, into any realization that they're hurtful or just wrong; they usually insist that YOU are the one who doesn't "get it" and "doesn't have a sense of humor" and so on.

I agree with the PP above who said that leaving the room or changing the topic immediately is best. I would not even acknowledge the gossipy comment with more than maybe a chilly stare as I changed the subject to something positive and neutral, preferably a topic not involving any person about whom she usually gossips.

If she's the very persistent type, it might signal that she's very bored and lonely and perhaps thinks that she has nothing of her own to discuss so she talks about other people. Maybe try turning the focus onto her by asking her specific questions about herself as a kid and young adult or questions about your spouse when he or she was young. Elicit some actual, positive memories you can enjoy, and thank her for sharing them. Then when she slides off into talking about people you don't know or care about, or people you do know but don't care to hear gossip about, you can leave, change topics, or ask her more about your spouse's hilarious antics as a kid. [/quote]

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