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[quote=Anonymous]warning - long; summary at the bottom.... Please help :-(

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We are both very happy (as far as I can tell) and have talked about long term plans.

He just finished a masters and is from out of the country, and his visa requires him to leave for 2 years. He may be able to put this off for the upcoming semester as he was offered a research position for spring; he is also applying for a Ph.D. In his field, and I don't know what his odds are but hopefully high (he is hopeful - STEM field).

Despite his research offer, he has thus far been unable to receive a visa extension- he has submitted everything, but has 2 sponsors and the whole process is frustrating. They respond occasionally on their schedule and we currently don't know if he will return home in 3 weeks or not. There are others in his program in this situation;  all still waiting, all in limbo.

This research extension is somewhat of a new development, in the past few months, and I have struggled a lot in our relationship regarding the unknown. Sometimes I just break down and cry and feel hopeless. I've talked to him about my worries and sadness.  He acknowledges my feelings and lets me cry and talks about ways we'll manage it.

He says well make it work; he's not concerned; he'll get another tourist visa and is very hopeful about the Ph.D. Program (he already does research within the department and things have been going well).

When faced with the idea of him leaving sometimes I just fall apart. Another thing is that i am adjusting to a new job and don't enjoy it and am facing a lot of stress and anxiety from it. There is also extreme anxiety from this situation, because I don't know if he'll be leaving, or when, or whether he'll be able to stay here for the phd .

I have a lot of anxiety in general, and I think it's gotten worse through job troubles. I was seeing a therapist, but it was difficult with scheduling and then I was injured and had to begin PT twice per week, and stopped going. I think I should restart and find one with a more convenient location.

I am looking for advice on this situation and especially ways to deal with the distance, as we have decided we want to stay together.

What did you do to make a LDR work? To try to stay positive? I love this man. I really feel like this could be it but I don't know how to beat the distance, and I know I have to, if we are going to try.

TL;DR:

Boyfriend may be moving out of the country (12 hour flight), status Unknown, having trouble processing emotions / coming to terms with it ; also seeking help as to how to build a LDR as this is what we've both stated we want.

What things can I do to focus on the positive? [/quote]

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