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[quote=Anonymous]My grandma (in her late 80s) is independent and relatively healthy. She lives in the same small town as my mom and my aunt. My mom has always been the caretaker of the family and as my grandma gets older, that responsibility is increasing. However, my grandma's also getting kind of crotchety and not easy to deal with. She doesn't have any urgent health concerns so it's more a matter of managing house and appointments, etc. Anyway, my mom is losing it. Getting very snippy and angry with grandma and emotionally drained. Her MIL (my other grandma) also lives with my parents, but is relatively benign although that is certainly also draining. My dad is emotionally vapid so not much help. What would you recommend I try to do to relieve the burden on my mom, given that I am not local and have young kids. I don't understand how this relationship can just go on and on until my grandma dies (hopefully not for several more years). I talked with my mom about setting boundaries and she is trying, but my grandma then gets angry and punitive towards her. Aggghhh. I don't think their relationship was ever perfect, but it used to be quite amiable. Any advice for me or my mom?[/quote]

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