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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here:

Ok, maybe this is how a lot of people feel (the sentiment of the responses so far).

My DH's family, as one example, is very different. Everything is transparent, and they feel like more of a family, from my point of view. The family is more of a unit and less of people keeping score.

My mom, for the record, is similarly separatist with her siblings, which I also find off-putting.

I will handle this issue very differently with my own kids.

In any case, since it's so sensitive to her, I'll just steer clear of the topic from now on. [/quote]

OP, my family is like your dh's.  Everything with my dad's money was transparent.  I knew how much he had, how the will was set up, how everything should be split.  We also had good boundaries with money.    In my family, your question would have made sense and not ruffled any feathers.

My dh's family is dysfunctional.  We don't know how much money his mother has.  She inappropriately distributed assets early, then needed to ask for them back.  It's honestly quite messy.  There are secrets, and poor boundaries.  It's been a revelation to observe, and frankly, judging by the responses here, not that uncommon either.  I think your question was fine, but clearly your mom has issues around money, and I agree it's probably best to just stay clear of the topic.[/quote]

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