Reply to Advice needed about inlaw relationship - looking to change me, not them

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op ~ your feelings aren't paramount. Are they as cordial and as polite to you as they would be to a neighbor? A stranger? They don't owe you anything. Get your emotional needs met somewhere else.[/quote]

There's a middle ground between the cordiality one gives to strangers and foisting emotional needs on someone.  You sound like you struggle with boundaries.[/quote]

OP, some good advice in this thread. If you really do want to change, I think you need to honestly as yourself (and maybe your husband): "Do I have realistic expectations of this family dynamic?" You may have dreams of a perfect family that are unrealistic. Or, you may have expectatinos of controlling/orchestrating/creating family dynamics for essentially someone else's family that you don't have a right to expect. I'm just saying, ask yourself.

How is your relationship with your own family?

I'm really not trying to be harsh. Take care and happy holidays! I hope all works out for you.

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