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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have one wonderful child (age 1.5) and started TTC #2 awhile ago.  Now it's been 10 months and I cannot get pregnant.  I've been diagnosed with decreased ovarian reserve and my numbers are horrible (i.e. my eggs are undetectable).  I have no idea how I got pregnant with #1 on the second try naturally, but I am so grateful.  My doctors say the chance of getting pregnant with IVF or naturally are less than 5% for me.  In other words, it is very unlikely I will ever get pregnant again.

Anyhow, after researching and having initial appts. with REs, I have come to the conclusion that I cannot go through IVF treatments.  So I need to accept having an only child.

The problem is I am an only child and I strongly disliked my lonely childhood and being an only now.  In fact, I am the stereotypical "only lonely" and do not want this for my DD.  My husband has one brother who he is not close with at all, so I know that a sibling does not guarantee a relationship.  But I really wanted to have two kids and experience that sibling bond from the parent perspective, and also to give my daughter the sibling relationship that I never had.

I'm having a hard time accepting that my daughter will be an only and growing up in the exact same way I did (new to the area (no good friends yet), no local family, grandparents far away, no cousins/aunts/uncles--well she has an aunt/uncle on my husband's side but they are disinterested in being an aunt/uncle and don't even ask about my DD, send her anything on her birthday, we only see them once every few years, etc).  Growing up I was so lonely without local family.  We only saw them once a year due to distance (with my DD, she will see them twice a year due to distance, which is a little better).  And these days we have Skype, etc. which makes keeping in touch easier.

How do I come to terms with having an only child due to infertility?  And how can I make sure she doesn't have a lonely childhood?  It's challenging because we are new to the area, didn't know anyone when we moved here 5 years ago, and it's been really hard to make good family friends with families who have kids around my daughter's age.[/quote]

For one, stop projecting. Your daughter's life experience will not be the same as yours. Also, I can't imagine a child thinking "i am lonely without local family" - lonely without friends - yes, without third aunt or 5th cousin - nope.

If it's hard for you to make friends - I would focus on that and see what can be changed within the range of reasonable.  Are you clingy? Super intraverted? Super religious? [/quote]

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