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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your value is not what you contribute to any one person or even a few persons, but the value you bring to the world as a whole. So don't focus on whether one or a few people are ungrateful/unappreciative, see that you are doing good that go beyond them. [/quote]

OP here. I get that. The issue is that I am taking care of elderly parents-in-law who are disabled and clearly need our help (they have no one else), but who continue to verbally abuse me (this has gone on for years, I am just really trying to detach myself now). So the "good" I am doing, I am not unsure about. I don't think what I'm doing here has much to do with the world, per se. [b]But I'm really trying to control my response.[/b] Any suggestions? Thanks for the suggestion on meditating, first pp, I think that is part of the key. [/quote]

Meditation might be the best way.

Here is the key: As a human, the one thing you can always do is choose the way you react to something.  You can choose to react to verbal abuse by feeling sad, getting angry, standing up for yourself, requesting help from your spouse, etc.  The key is to choose the reaction, rather than letting an automatic reaction happen, as that automatic reaction may not be the one you really want to choose.

How to do that?  When you meditate, on a mantra, image, or whatever, when your mind wanders, gently bring your mind back to whatever it is you are meditating on.  This builds awareness of your mind, and what it is doing.  The more you practice, the more you begin to experience this state of awareness, even in times you are not meditating.  It is almost like a state of calm, where you exist in a "space" between something happening to you, and your reaction.  Being in this space is what will allow you to choose the right way to react in any situation.
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