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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Well, I guess it's good that you are self-aware. I think the question now is what do you want? Do you want to be able to step back from your relationship with your sister so that you no longer have to expose yourself to something that brings out such an unpleasant side of yourself? Or do you want to try and fix that side of yourself? Do you want to reconcile with your sister? Or is that not even a goal? [/quote]

OP here.

The strangest thing is that people who know me now as a young adult generally think I'm a pleasant sweet kind person. I have developed okay social skills and am trying to improve myself so I can walk out of the black hole that was my teenage years. I am no where near as put together or successful as my sister and being with her actually brings out the worst in me. I think even though I am older than her, she has always looked at me as a cautionary tale and makes great efforts to avoid my mistakes. This of course makes me feel bad and I behave badly with her.

She does not bring out the best in me. [/quote]

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