Reply to If you have adult daughters, and you are close to them, how did you do it?

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Reply to "If you have adult daughters, and you are close to them, how did you do it?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Not close to mom but very close to both adult daughters.  Things I did differently:

1) I did not have a huge reaction when my daughters told me something.  I listen, stayed as neutral as possible, and counted to 10.  I know this made a huge difference because both have told me that they feel they can tell me anything and I won't judge them.

2)  I never take anything that they do personally

3) I kept my own anxiety at bay and didn't burden them with a thousand "what if's", I separated my emotions from what is good for them.

4)  I was there for them if they wanted me, in the background.  If they didn't want me I didn't take it personally.

5)  I made them my top priority if they wanted to engage with me.

6)  I thanked them when they complained to me about what I was doing wrong, I was never defensive.

7)  I always maintained their sense of dignity.

All of these steps took a lot of careful thought but I am so glad that I raised them this way.  My mother is absolutely baffled that I have such a close bond with them when she and I barely speak.  I'm thankful to my mother, I just took everything she did to me and did the opposite -voila I have a great relationship with my girls![/quote]

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