Reply to Will likely have to serve ex w/custody papers. Help me stay calm.

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you are proceeding smartly.

I wonder if it makes sense to give his family a heads up - hi family, just want to let you know that I've been talking with lawyers about drawing up a will that provides for DD.  As part of that conversation, the lawyers have advised me that it would be best if I formalized legal custody of DD.  Please rest assured nothing will change - I value your presence in DD's life, as well as her father's.  But with him overseas, creating a stable legal framework  for DD is the best way to guard her interests.  My goal is not to disrupt anything or make life more difficult for anyone.  There will be some paperwork and legal things to get through, but once that's over everything returns to normal.  I am required to serve the father with legal papers, and it has to happen on US soil, which means over the holiday season.  Again, this isn't about support, or visitation, or anything other than a formal legal custody that allows me to continue to make health and welfare decisions as I have in the past.  As DD ages, making those decisions without a legal framework becomes more difficult, so it's best to sort it out now.

Let's get together soon - DD is looking forward to seeing you!

Just let them know what's going to happen, but put a positive spin on it and assure them you are only looking out for DD, and not out to change anything.  [/quote]

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