Reply to Will likely have to serve ex w/custody papers. Help me stay calm.

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Reply to "Will likely have to serve ex w/custody papers. Help me stay calm."

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[quote=Anonymous]He's not going to care or want to be bothered.  I don't disagree with you concern but you may be opening up a bigger can of worms than you anticipate.  He may come in saying you are refusing contact and demand court ordered visitation.  Are you ok with that (sounds like you are and are flexible but it will be on the courts terms, not yours)?  My husband's ex went after him for more child support (after we got married assuming she could get my income despite living with a boyfriend she failed to declare) and instead the judge took her off the alimony (it was over a few years before but he was decent and kept paying) and took two of the three kids off chid support (over 18 but he was paying anyway).  And, in return, he was also ordered several time a year visitation cross-country with her splitting the cost (she moved away).  So, not to say it will happen to you, but it may not always go your way.  (although that could benefit your child if he takes more of an interest in her).  Also, the court expense are something to consider if he challenges you.  The little more my husband's ex got went to paying the attorney so it was a wash.

Also, remember he can take you back to court if things change.  In less you know its going to be an issue for medical or travel, personally I'd leave it alone.  A court order will only make it cleaner too if he follows it.  If he doesn't follow it, it will be another source of conflict (which it sounds like you are trying to avoid).

He isn't going to stop you from moving.  You just move and tell him after you get there.  He doesn't live in the area so no reason for him to block a move.  If you put moving in the court order, a judge can block it and make you apply for permission.

Again, your logic of protecting your daughter is dead on, but there are other consequences to what you are choosing to do and it may work out great for you, but it could also backfire.

I would just make a will clearly stating your wishes.[/quote]

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