Reply to Will likely have to serve ex w/custody papers. Help me stay calm.

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Will likely have to serve ex w/custody papers. Help me stay calm."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I am currently a single mom with a terrific 3 yr old. She was an unplanned, but welcome gift; her dad and I dated for a year and had ended our relationship when I learned I was pregnant. I wanted the child, he waffled significantly (asked that I get an abortion, then asked me to have the child and marry him, etc.). I elected not to file for child support; I am very comfortable financially and told him that I valued his involvement more than money; he stated he wanted to be involved and we agreed that we would reevaluate CS at some later time.

Fast forward 3 years. He's almost completely uninolved. While this is disappointing, it's not surprising. I was aware when I made the decision to have a child as  a single woman that this was possible. I have a big extended family who is very involved with her, and I've maintained good relationships with his family as well. DD has lots of adults who love her, including uncles, grandpas, and male cousins. It's not perfect, but I'm doing the best I can.

He recently took a job overseas and plans to stay there for another year and a half. I've kept our situation out of court because I always hoped we could work together. But I don't feel that the absence of a formal custody agreement makes sense anymore. With two parents living on separate continents, I need to be able to make her legal decisions without his input. He skypes with her once every 1-2 mos, emails me minimally. Is largely unresponsive when I contact him. So I don't feel comfortable sharing legal custody. Additionally, we need a guardianship agreement if I die or become injured. My parents are young, healthy, and involved. He agreed when we skyped that they are a good choice for custody if something happens to me, and that he doesn't want that responsibility.

But now he's ignoring the conversation again. Won't return emails, etc. My attorney has let me know that we just need to serve him with papers via a process server when he's visiting her here for the holidays. I realize this is what's necessary but am worried about the expense and aggression of opening up this line of actions. It's making me pretty anxious.

Thanks for your thoughts.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics