Reply to Ex-boyfriend told me I'm not meant to live with anyone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
It's not entirely his fault, although he sounds abusive and therefore you're well rid of him. It's also your anxiety. I say this as a supremely anxious person, who had low self-esteem, developed panic attacks, PPD after the birth of DC1, and nearly wrecked my marriage with my hypersensitivity.

You CAN have a healthy relationship, particularly if you can learn how to keep your anxiety under control and have strategies when it's triggered. You should choose someone who can weather your anxiety with equanimity and patience, not anger. Not necessarily someone who understands you (because then he could be anxious himself, and you really don't want that genetic burden on your kids), but someone who is mature enough to know that your good points wouldn't exist without your bad points - they're just two facets of your personality.

Ex: I'm the perfect listener, a perfectionist in my work and get along great with everyone, because I'm anxious to please and do my best. I wouldn't be this way if I didn't have this chronic anxiety, that I can harness most days, but which make me go off track other days. See?

Take all setbacks as teaching moments, OP. The saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is particularly true for us hothouse flowers!

[/quote]

OP here.  Thank you for this!  My anxiety got a lot worse living with someone who could fly off the handle and had zero qualms about criticizing me.  
My self-esteem took a huge nosedive and the anxiety flourished.  How did you handle the hypersensitivity.  I find that to be my greatest hurdle in my day-to-day life.  I read into everything and it drives me (and others) crazy.  I see a therapist regularly in order to resolve this.  It's just nice to get some words of wisdom and encouragement from someone who understands what I'm dealing with. [/quote]

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